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2013 BCS Trip

2013 BCS Trip, Non-Fiction, Story Collections

Sunset at the Venice Ale House (BCS Day #3)

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The sun broke through the blinds and warmed the chilly safe house, spreading its light slowly over my bed, across the floor of the living room, and eventually up Jay’s couch until it climbed and spotlighted the wall where Cale keeps the bulk of his Tiki mug collection. It was Sunday, and we had all day to do whatever we wanted.

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I looked at my watch and shot a text to my mom, the keeper of the texts between my parents, letting her know that we were alive and awaiting their arrival. I also included the address again in case she lost it. They were still airborne, but this way she would get it on arrival and have an asset to work with while Jay and I made our way to the Starbucks five minutes down the street.

As we sat outside Starbucks watching the vibrant scene unfold before us, I was reminded of how much I appreciate Venice. We were background scenery in an elaborate play in which characters danced a rhythmic daily routine of mayhem, the setting a paradoxical village where nothing, however odd, seems out of place.

My phone started vibrating at a more frequent rate than normal. People were starting to wake up. The text I was looking for was the first one I got that day. Both Bo and Anthony, friends from my scholastic days in Auburn, were checking in on our whereabouts. The city is large and spread out, and I worried that even though there were thousands of Auburn fans sprinkled throughout, we would miss several of the key people I wanted to spend time with. The group that Bo and Anthony represented was certainly at the top of that list because we’re all together seldom anymore. My life in Auburn has two parts, and these guys were the stars of Act I in the story of my time on the Plains. They were my first friends outside my hometown and the youth in me that it represented. I was relieved to find out they were close to us and we made a plan to meet on the Venice Boardwalk for lunch. What better place for the reunion than the Ale House?

When the call came in from my parents, we were already back at the safe house. The cabby dropped them, and once they found the walk street where the house is perfectly hidden, they barreled toward the beach and the entrance gate – two walking Auburn University Athletics billboards primed for the next few days.

Not twenty minutes later we were heading down the boardwalk toward the Ale House and the reunion I looked forward to. My parents were excited to see these guys as well; they had known them as many years as I had.

The Ale House was quite a wait, which was disappointing seeing as it is my local establishment. I thought about waiting for a table when Anthony called.

“That place doesn’t start serving beer until noon, which I kindly explained wasn’t ok with us,” he said in the casually direct manner with which he handles everything. “We’re at a café just a few down that had no problem serving us liquor. We have seats for you.”

ImageThe next few hours were spent reminiscing over beer after beer and fresh California café fare while we basked in the sun of an exceptional Sunday. Everything was perfect at that moment, as is often the case on the day before a gigantic game.

We all made plans to meet later that night in Hermosa for Charles Barkley’s party at American Junkie and scattered in different directions in front of the café. I had Tyler (whereabouts unknown), Jay, my parents, and myself on the list for the party so I knew our access was undeniable, but Anthony’s mere presence anywhere somehow lifted literal and figurative barricades. It had been that way since college, so I had no doubt that I would see them later.

Around this time, two more texts came in. One was from Tyler announcing his arrival at the beach to collect his things (still on the safe house floor), and the other from Jess asking what we were up to. I revealed our beachside bar location and we didn’t have to move, which was a beautiful thing as the midafternoon sun crept closer to the water and another beer dropped in front of me as Tyler and Will in an Uber car and Jess and her roommate Amanda on bicycles rolled our way.

Once we were all together, we paid our tabs and made our inevitable journey back to the Ale House. It was the beginning of a long sunset, which is truly a magic hour in Venice. It was crowded, but just the right amount. As the first round of drinks landed on our highboy table, the Ale House owner yelled for everyone’s attention.

“My buddy Caleb, visiting from out of town, has offered to buy everyone in the bar a drink. He’s single, ladies! Drink up!”

A bevy of cheers echoed down the boardwalk and our waitress, still unloading our drinks, reconfirmed, “These are on Caleb.”

ImageFrom that moment on, my Dad and Caleb became really close companions. I swear I saw Dad pouring a beer behind the bar from the tap, but that might have been an illusion brought on by the flawless conditions of that moment.

Caleb didn’t stop with one round; he was having too much fun. I’m not certain we paid for a thing until the sun buried itself in the horizon.

Jess and Amanda headed home on their bikes and Tyler and Will made their way back to Hollywood. Once home, Jess texted me about our plans for the night and thought she might join. Jess has the charm that Anthony displayed on a regular basis, so I doubted she would have any issue getting into American Junkie either. It was set for us to scoop her on our way to Hermosa.

The Westerly on Lincoln, aka home of the baddest bitch.

That was the text Jess sent me as our Uber car careened along the highway leading to Marina Del Ray. It was a quick stop to collect her and we were off for Hermosa.

American Junkie was a garage door bar situated along a pedestrian walkway. It was pretty spacious and with the open air style was a perfect location for what Barkley was trying to do, which was to provide a casual, fun place for Auburn fans to congregate. There was a stage in the back of the room occupied by the DJ and Sir Charles held court just adjacent. In my experiences with Charles, it’s always the same. He’s one of the only celebrities that truly enjoys creating chaos with his presence. Back alley private entrances and roped off areas aren’t his style. He’d rather come straight through the front door and cast a broad stroke of crazy across the scene.

ImageThe bar was filled with familiar faces from all corners of the Auburn Family. Local Auburn business owners, alumni, and current students – I recognized several of them by name and face. We could have easily been in a Toomer’s Corner bar instead of on the opposite coast. Drinks flowed with ease within the hometown oasis created by Barkley and for the second time that day, not much money was spent.

My two “Acts” in Auburn collided at American Junkie, often leaving the young contingent wondering if I had lived several lifetimes. I laughed this off used to it, and ordered another round of Fireball shots for us.

As the evening escalated, my parents, who are wiser than me and wanted to be fresh for game day, decided they were going to cut out. I ordered an Uber car from my phone and gave directions to the driver once he entered the scene. My dad is still pretty enamored with this service, which is incredibly convenient, and as far as he could tell, costless.

The official end of the evening is still a mystery to me. The last pictures taken feature Jay wearing Jess’s belt around his head in a random grocery store parking lot. This time it was Jess who fell asleep during a transfer. Jay and I had certainly matured at that point.

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2013 BCS Trip, Non-Fiction, Story Collections

Nothing Good Happens In a Hardware Store After Midnight (BCS Day #2)

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It’s hard to explain how much I love and appreciate what I refer to as the “Venice Safe House”, more accurately described as my cousin Cale’s home. He works in the film industry and is often traveling with movie crews, leaving a quiet safe haven for advantage seeking relatives like myself to occupy ever so briefly.

Sitting mere steps from the safe house door is the Venice Ale House, a bohemian beer house with organic fare, fun waitresses, and a picturesque beachside view into the eyes of some of Venice’s famous and infamous characters, like a lighthouse for the weird and wonderful.

Photo Dec 14, 5 29 21 PMAs Jay’s car jetted south on I-15 toward L.A., thoughts of both of my West Coast “houses” eased the hangover rumblings in my head. Tyler was snoring in the backseat before we left the Strip, and I was charged with the responsibility of keeping Jay entertained so we didn’t careen off the road in a three-piece chorus of slumber. This was one of the hardest tasks of the weekend, sitting second to moving from my bed at Jay’s house to the shower ten feet away just three hours prior.

As we approached the California border, a familiar sight rose ominously off the left side of the highway. I started hearing faint screams in the recesses of my psyche. I sat up a little straighter and watched intently as the beast cast its shadow across the hood, the cab, and then the entirety of the car. The Desperado Roller Coaster. It wasn’t just a dream that Kelly Winch and I had driven there from NYNY Casino with a six pack of Tall Boy Budweiser sixteen years ago. That must have actually happened. I remember screaming as much as crying. It was a mind-boggling 90 seconds…Wow, I really need some sleep.

Tyler was staying at a house in Hollywood, while Jay and I were starting at the Venice Safe House and moving to a house in Beverly Hills on Sunday for the two remaining nights. My parents were flying in Sunday to take over our Venice digs and join the party, and with the safe house measuring in at a mere 500 square feet, Jay and I decided to seek refuge elsewhere.

Photo Jan 04, 5 43 10 PMThe Desperado disappearing in our rearview mirror, we were on California soil and barreling closer to La La Land. My phone vibrated in my pocket and snapped me back to reality. It was a text from Jessica Trainham, the world’s most entertaining girl. According to her text, Laurel Hardware, a bar in Hollywood, would be the destination tonight. I shoved the phone back in my pocket and updated Jay on the plans. Tyler still wasn’t fit to receive any news.

When Tyler finally did wake up, we were in the guts of the city. He had yet to reach any of his lodging companions by phone, so we would be adopting him for the night. We parked the car in the street near the safe house and lugged our bags into Venice paradise. A quick round of freshening up (cold water splashed on faces) and a change of clothes and we were shuffling down the boardwalk to the Venice Ale House for an organic beachside meal and several craft beers.

We were done with our meals and finishing our third beer when the magical call from Jess came in.

“We’re leaving now,” she said, “we’ll be there in 30 minutes. I have the baby harmonica.”

Photo Jan 15, 9 11 00 AMJust a few weeks prior I was staying in Venice for a brief respite after a week in Vail entertaining clients. I had no plans, so Jess and I got together with some of her friends, which ended in a wild way in a private karaoke room in Santa Monica with bottles of champagne and a baby harmonica, which she blew incessantly until it fell headlong into a champagne flute. Evidently, two weeks is the span of time it takes for champagne to dry out from the inside of a baby harmonica, because when we entered Laurel Hardware, it was all I could hear.

Laurel Hardware was a pretty cool place once you were inside, but you looked pretty silly standing outside waiting for the mighty doormen to grant you entry mainly because it really looked like a hardware store. I just imagined people driving by thinking “man, these people sure are intent on buying a hammer at midnight”.

The inside was anything but hardware. There was a dining area that wound around a shapely wall into a back room with a full bar, booths, lounge seating, and long family-style tables. It was a lively atmosphere. Loud.

Laurel HardwareJess and her harmonica conducted the largest of the family-style tables. Twelve seats held Auburn fans I recognized from a span of years on the Plains, all connected to Jess and myself in some way. The evening commenced officially. It was fun catching up with these faces that had once drown on a nightly basis in the sea of bodies at Sky Bar, waited in lines at the hot dog stands, and nursed hangovers at tailgates on the Plains. Laurel Hardware was a great kickoff for us in L.A.

Things got a little hazy as we spilled onto Sunset Boulevard at 2 am. The next thing I knew, we had split with Jess and the rest and were winding up a road into the Hollywood Hills in an Uber car. Our friend Will had joined Tyler, Jay, and me, and our destination was the house where Tyler was to be staying.

“You know all your clothes are in Venice,” I said to Tyler, afraid that may have slipped his mind.

Photo Jan 05, 4 08 03 AMIt didn’t seem to bother him, so we trudged upward into the mystical hills overlooking L.A. The house had the typical unassuming look from the outside, as the bulk of the structure was build directly into the cliff below us. You couldn’t get a decent sense of the size of the place until you went out on the balcony overlooking what appeared to be three stories at our feet culminating with a lone hot tub precariously situated at a drop off point with the best view possible of the world below.

Jay and I hung out for a bit, admiring the modern art pieces mixed with classic black and white photographs of Marilyn Monroe. “This looks like a place she might have partied,” I said as I snapped a few pictures. While Will, Tyler, and the few additional guys staying at the house selected their bedrooms, Jay and I used the opportunity to sneak out and started heading down the hill aimlessly in search of a solid way back to Venice. I pulled up Uber on my phone, and was surprised to see a car close. He was there in a matter of minutes, and for the second time in two nights, a few things remained constant: Jay and I passed out in the back of a transfer vehicle, and probably worse, Tyler slept miles away from his luggage.

Good night, Saturday…(Click here to read about the night before)

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2013 BCS Trip, Non-Fiction, Story Collections

Kristy Vegas and the Sin Win Again (BCS Day #1)

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The sun rises over the desert and its warmth wakes me in a calming way, contrary to the slap in the face that Vegas gave me just hours ago. It started innocent enough, as it has so many times. Jay picked me up at the airport because the annual Consumer Electronics Show is in town and Kristy Vegas, my standard limo driver, was booked with driving what I’m imagining as a group of Korean executives from Samsung around Sin City. Her stories one up mine every time.

Jay, a long time friend from my days in Spain, scooped me at the airport and we had a very responsible lunch as we waited for Tyler’s plane to land so the festivities could begin. We toasted our twenty-year anniversary (Spain) and commenced with small talk. Again, all innocent. If I had to pinpoint the moment it all went south, it would have to be Tyler’s quote once he was in the car.

“You know, I’ve never been to Vegas.”

The concept gave me chills, and I knew we were in for long night. The rest pretty much followed the Hangover script. Kristy Vegas texted me as we were finishing our drinks at the incomparable Carnival Court. Meet me out by the taxis. Have more beautiful words ever been written?

Her new limo was nothing less than obnoxious, but in a good way. We had added my cousin Carter to the mix, here for the CES show, and the four of us piled into a modified tractor-trailer that had the entire entrance at Harrah’s blocked ad people holding their ears. We hugged, she climbed up the ladder to her post, and we headed down the Strip. I could start running at one end of this thing and be at a full sprint before reaching the other.

As is often the case in Vegas, things started to get a little chaotic and confusing. We lost each other several times, although we were all within a 100 yard radius. And so the night went on and on.

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Tyler texted me in the morning to say that he woke up at the Venetian with a 50% off coupon for a gondola ride in his hands. He may or may not have met a girl who had strayed from the bachelorette party she was a part of – I love bachelorette parties. We evidently left him behind in what it seemed now as a better situation than our own. Our taxi driver woke Jay and me up, both passed out in his back seat. He needed directions and I guess we were less than informative when we piled in. Oh well…

Off to L.A.!

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2013 BCS Trip, Non-Fiction, Story Collections

BCS Bound and Down…

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Tomorrow morning I’m bounding west on a mission of redemption. In the first few days of 2011, Auburn’s last trip to the BCS title game, I was floating aimlessly through the Caribbean on a previously scheduled endeavor and had to watch Auburn’s victory in a relatively quiet room in Tampa, dreary and hopeless. I’ll be making the best of this year as I’ve been given a second chance. I’m going to blog through the weekend which will involve Las Vegas, a HANGOVER-esque drive to LA, the Venice Beach Safe House, my continued residence at the Venice Ale House, a private home in Beverly Hills, the BCS Title Game, and the ubiquitous involvement of Charles Barkley sprinkled throughout. For those of you that wonder what it’s like on these adventures I take, this is your chance to read along. Stay tuned…

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